time

I'm feeling the desire to reconnect with my tried and true blog readers. Whenever I have an empty minute I've been concerned with updating the Thai blog, so the wider audience knows what's happening, and so you can all feel like you're on the ride with me, like I'm not so far away, like the distance is more just a silly construct rather than an actual barrier separating us.

I think things here are getting better. New situations, they always take a while to get acclimated to, especially in situations such as these which are almost entirely composed of moving pieces, some as fickle as humans. The weather continues to be oppressive, but the food is absolutely delicious. Oh shit! Here I am reporting on Thailand...I wonder how I'm going to do this separation.

See, I would like to use this blog more as a journal, which was my original intention, and thus I've limited the audience to my friends, the Pirate, and my family. The problem is, there's some stuff I only want me to know and think and acknowledge, right? Although I'm warming up to the idea of sharing a large portion of my life, reporting on it like a journalist and even letting others know my inner thoughts, which isn't a habit that comes naturally to me, I still would like to keep some things private. You have to have your own stuff, I think. Your entire life can't be an open book, exposed to all for criticism and review; the more eyes that see it, the less you have for yourself. Maybe? Maybe that's not right. Maybe that's the mistaken assumption I've internalized that has kept me from being able to be close with most people in my life.

I'm trying to take everything as it comes, not rush it, not force it, not feel bad about things not progressing the way I'd like them to. It all works out eventually, with or without your stress and worry and frustration. Which is easy to say when I'm feeling alright. Another day, I'll say to hell with it and momentarily give up on the whole bit.